...a note to my youngest son...

...two o' five.

There are people who believe we stand alone,

 whole & complete & perhaps that’s true,

 but all I know is there are parts of me

 that would not be

 if they had not come alive with you.

~storypeople

to my youngest son.

such a whirlwind.

these past couple of weeks.

graduation.

open house.

orientation.

your last.

baseball awards banquet.

where, you were rewarded, for your hard work.

and today.

when i drove you to the airport.

fighting the tears.

until i got to the car.

when you asked to go to Colorado for the summer.

initially, we said no.

but the next night.

 you asked if you could talk to us.

 about why you thought we should let you go.

you had all your thoughts in place.

you laid your heart on the line.

believe me...

letting you go wasn't an easy decision.

but, bottom line...

we didn't want you to have a miserable summer.

and you would have.

i remember young love.

you will be with a family that cares about you.

and, you are getting the chance.

to see and experience.

a different part of the country.

but.

my selfish mom heart.

...breaks.

selfish because there will be a summer...

void of. 

a kiss on the cheek.

"night mom, love you."

or out the door...

"see ya later mom, have a good day, love ya."

just simple things.

the hundred different things.

that make Matthew, Matthew.

things that a child.

will never understand.

until they have children themselves.

that being said.

i am so, so proud of you.

{just as i am with your brother and sister}

because...you are good people.

you are kind, loving, compassionate,

beautiful inside and out.

how can i be selfish...

and not let you share the gift of you.

with as many people as possible.

yeah, i'm not going to lie.

i will probably continue to cry.

because i am human.

and selfish is a parent's rite.

but i will also be happy.

knowing dad and i raised {three}GREAT.

human beings.

do me favor.

don't stop being you.

never lose your smile.

always, always look for the good in people.

never stop giving of yourself.

enjoy everyday.

enjoy the moments.

and above all, Matthew Brian Goodenow...

just BE.

"i'll see ya later."

love, mom.